So "Hell Weekend" started after work Friday. As Russ and I were driving to eat dinner with my mom, my stomach got upset and I spent most of the evening in the restroom.
So I figure Saturday will be better. Mom and I go to a local craft show. Well, the first two people I run into start to tell me how they are sorry about the baby. That's fine, but then I get told, "It's okay, it happened for a reason and you'll have another baby." Well, SCREW YOU!!! I want the baby I had!! My Elliot, I want him, not another baby to replace him, I WANT HIM!
Then as we are walking around, I see tag blankets, start bawling and run out of the place. Get hom and relax....
Then my hubby and I decide to go to my nephews last football game. Now, if you know me and Russ, we tease each other like a couple of teenagers, picking on one another. Anyhoo, this women in front of us starts laughing and tells me I'm funny. Then she askes, "You don't have kids do you?" I answer no, because I've had a hard enough day and don't want to go into it, then she asks, "What are you waiting for, Christmas?" Well, Russ says, "Well yes we are!" I start bawling again and have to leave. Why do people have to get so personal, it's none of your damn business if we are going to have kids or not, that's our choice!! EWWWWWWWW
So then Sunday, I promise myself it will be a better day. I get ready, go to church, go and come home. Russell is in bed crying when I get home!
Oh AND I forgot Sweetest Day. Now you have to understand, I buy Russ a card and something for every holiday. AND I FORGOT for the fist time in 7 and a half years! He bought me a curling iron, which I needed, candy, a DVD and a card. And I didn't have jack for him!
So as we are laying in bed Sunday, which is how we spent the whole day, he asks me "Do you still love me?" Well that fucking broke my heart. "Of course I love you," I tell him. And he says to me that it's not like me to forget. GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK! I feel bad enough about forgetting...excuse me, but there is a lot going on now, it slipped, I'm sorry.
So what do I do now, I've appoligezed 100 times, but everything seems so fragile right now, I don't need a breakdown of our relationship!!!! Especially because I forgot freakin' Sweetest Day! Now I'm sure I'd be mad if he forgot, Hell I'm lucky to get a card sometimes, i didn't even get a card for our anniversary!!! EWWWWWW
On a good note though, Mike at the frame shop is going to make me prints of Elliot's feet and hands and he can clean them up some, they are smudged where they took the prints. And I want to order one of those neclaces, but they do them exactly like the pic, and I don't want a pic of my sons foot without his toe!!
Here's to a better tomorrow. I start my Physician's Weight Loss diet tomorrow, hope I don't murder someone for their Twinkie!!! LOL
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I am so sorry that you had to encounter tough things at every twist and turn of your weekend. Sending you prayers for better days.
ReplyDeleteThank you. It's nice nice to have this community of people who understand...Although I hate the circumstances of our meeting, it nice to have the support.
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