Today I will be remembering Elliot and lighting a candle for him, I hope more so with smiles than tears, but I can't promise anything.
I will also be lighting a candle for baby Grayson who passed away on October 7, 2008.
I truely hope that every parent who has lost a little one will remember their angel with a smile in their heart. Sometimes it's hard to remember these little ones were a gift when we are feeling so much pain from the loss. But they are now and will always be a gift from God.
My spirits are a little better today, I had a complete breakdown at work yesterday, I sat in the bathroom for what seemed like an eternity and sobbed so hard I almost got sick a couple of times. I think I needed that though. I have been trying to be so strong for so long, it's wearing my body out!
Speaking of my body:
I am starting the Physician's Weight Loss Diet again next week. I am actually 12 pounds lighter than the last time I started!! (Last time I was on the diet 3 weeks and found out I was pregnant and had to stop) The girls that work there are so awesome and I want to be more healthy when we ttc again! So I might become a little irritable in the coming weeks, but it will pass. I look forward to being a healthy mom that can run and play for hours with my kids, not one that uses TV as an excuse for my laziness!!! I am doing this for me and my future children and I know I can because keeping that goal of a healthy mom and baby in mind will be my drive!
Please know that I am thinking and praying for all parents today who have baby angels! Much love to all of us!
~B~
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