Saturday, February 6, 2010

Sadness and Solace

My husbands mother died early this morning of a heart-attack...I come to you and ask for prayers for my hubby. I hope his heart does not get to heavy to handle this latest test from above...
And just when I am feeling tested, He sends me a sign that He is still a good God. Today that came in the form of a picture from Lisa. I will post them later, but Thank You Lisa, they are beautiful.
I leave you with this.... from my dear friend Alicia!
Have you ever wondered how a preemie mommy is chosen?
You ever wonder how mothers of premature babies are chosen? Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger. "Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia. Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint. . .give her Gerard. He's used to profanity." Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a preemie." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy." "Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel." "But does she have the patience?" asks the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off she'll handle it. "I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy." "But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just the right amount of selfishness." The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?" God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see-- ignorance, cruelty, prejudice-- and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side." "And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air. God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

AND

"A Mother has a baby" This we know is true "But God can you be a Mother, When your baby's not with you?" "Yes, you can," He replied With confidence in His voice "I give many women babies, When they leave is not their choice. Some I send for a lifetime, And others for the day. And some I send to feel your womb, But there's no need to stay." "I just don't understand this God I want my baby to be here." He took a deep breath and cleared His throat, And then I saw the tear. "I wish I could show you, What your child is doing today. If you could see your child's smile, With all the other children and say... 'We go to Earth to learn our lessons, Of love and life and fear. My Mommy loved me oh so much, I got to come strait here. I feel so lucky to have a Mom, Who had so much love for me. I learned my lessons very quickly, My Mommy set me free. I miss my Mommy oh so much, But I visit her every day. When she goes to sleep, On her pillow's where I lay I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek, And whisper in her ear. Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here.' "So you see my dear sweet ones, your children are okay. Your babies are born here in My home, And this is where they'll stay. They'll wait for you with Me, Until your lesson's through. And on the day that you come home they'll be at the gates for you. So now you see what makes a Mother, It's the feeling in your heart it's the love you had so much of Right from the very start Though some on earth may not realize, you are a Mother. Until their time is done. They'll be up here with Me one day and know that you are the best one!"

11 comments:

  1. brandy,
    what an amazing post! i had tears in my eyes. i will remember this little story the rest of my life.
    -rebecca sidwell

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  2. That's so beautiful, I'm crying right now! I think you captured so many of the new me's feelings and thoughts perfectly.

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  3. I am so sorry for you most recent loss and the loss of your son. Those essays are beautiful - Blessings, Sarita Boyette
    sboyette@tx.rr.com

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  4. I'm so sorry your husband is living through yet another loss. It seems so unbearable to lose both a child and a mother in so short of time. I will be sure to say a prayer for his comfort and peace of mind and that this loss doesn't overwhelm him to the point of despair. Thank you so much for posting those lovely stories, I think most of us babylost mamas struggle with God at times and just hearing a different perspective about our loss from a point of faith makes me more forgiving of God. Wish I could hug you right now!!!

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  5. *hugs* I'm so sorry that your MIL passed away. :o( Thank you for posting these 2 writtings they are very beautiful.

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  6. I am so sorry to hear the news. I see the sadness and the solace equally in your post, I hope the days get brighter. Thanks for sharing this beautiful piece.

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  7. I am so sorry for your loss. My sympathy to you, your husband and family.

    Big Hugs.

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  8. beautiful post. I am so sorry for your family's loss. My prayers are with you .

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  9. I'm so sorry to hear about your hubby's mom. I am definitely praying for you guys through this difficult time!

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  10. Hi Brandy,

    This is Salma from all over the place but you may remember me from (A Room of Ones Own).I would like to make a request offline. Can you please email me @ letterstoherroom@gmail.com.

    This is technically my second comment for the same post, sorry. Happy Valentines' day.

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